It's better to be like this, for now. No?

Decided that I need to make a decision.


Soon..



And I have.



Honestly, I didn't know what made my hand got a mind of its own to delete your number and all our photos.
I still don't know why I deleted your contact. It's got no effect anyway. Your texts still appear on my iSms program. So your number is still there nonetheless.
But the photo, I know why.



Looking at how we were so close in the pictures,
I feel like looking at a dream.
It doesn't even feel like a reality.
Reality is rarely kind, and frequently cruel.
Those days, where it was all beautiful, were totally a dream.
Now I feel like I'm conscious.
The harsh reality; I'd be kidding myself if I say this is the nightmare instead. I'm asleep now, and gonna wake up soon.
NO!


If I have to put it frankly, bloggie,
Our photos seemed so fake.
Their photos seemed so real.



When I looked at their recent photos,
Yes, I felt crushed inside.
The cruel reality squeezed the shit out of me.
But that was when I knew what to do for now.



Again, as I mentioned long ago.
It's a burden to adore two persons at the same time.
It won't be fair for both.
Me, as the third party, should back off, as rules stated.

I was deceived in my dreams.
I thought I'm getting closer to you, and he's getting further away.
What a denial my brain had designed for me.
Truth is, I'm never getting closer. This is the limit. This is where the progress stops.
Truth is, you two are ever close.
How do I say so? From your recent photos.
Discovered them by accident, when I was at your Facebook profile while missing you.



And you said you two don't have much hope.
YEAH RIGHT.
How bloody plenty HOPE I see for both of you.
I'm wrong for expecting more than friends between us.
And I'm wrong for misunderstanding your definition of "us".


And you said you enjoyed the pain with him.
You know what, that sounds like a total crap to me.
Humans logical mind would prevent you from taking the pain too long, like I do now.
You will take action once the pain gets to a level too dangerous for your mental state.
Okay let's say you're ILLOGICAL.
Even if you don't like the pain, you will try to keep a distance from it!
NOT BEING FREAKING CLOSE TO THE SOURCE ALL THE TIME.
NOT LOVING THE PAIN ALL THE TIME.
To put it simply, even if you can't get away from the pain, you keep a distance.
NOT FREAKING EMBRACE THE PAIN.
THAT'S THE BULLSHIT OF THE YEAR.

How do I say so?
I'm a living proof.


OR,
You dare to embrace the pain, knowing that it's for a better future.
So that shows you have a lot of hope in you two.
HOW CAN YOU SAY 'No hope maybe." ????

I JUST DON'T FREAKING GET IT.



Or, you're just lying to me, or trying to console =D
Whichever you prefer. It's not my problem anyway.




I should get away from the lies for now.
No worries, I don't hate you.
Adoration to a person doesn't change into hatred overnight =)
Nonetheless, I'll try treating as a good friend, or normal friend.
Since that's what I always am to you anyway.







Strange, I deleted your contact and photos, and yet I didn't get the feeling to block you from here.
Oh well, it's not gonna make much difference anyway.
Like hell she's gonna visit here.
No time lah =D
So block or not, it makes no freaking difference.
Well, I don't give a damn either way.