Please, I gotta see ur true smile =)

It's a really busy week for me....
Not even fit to be called holiday, although it is term 1 holiday

This SCMUN conference, a debate thing...
really sometimes stressed me out
but i would like to thank 2 persons

One is to a new fren of mine , who kinda helped me get used to this and get ready for the debate...
Maybe if not for her help and lame jokes, I may not be able to get this relax during this debate...=)
My sincere and heartfelt thanks....

Secondly, and more importantly,
To someone who is always with me
During my up, during my down
When I really was mentally broken down,
u were still by my side, giving me whatever support u can offer ...
And i need u to know i really appreciate that

And if there is something I could do to repay
i would do anything for ur smile, ur happiness
ur genuine smile, not juz a smile that u show to hide ur feelings =)

And i'll promise u this
No matter who i am with,
no matter who i am seeing
U'll be the one I care the most
Coz no matter how far we are apart
I know my heart longs for u the most =)

And the day when I get to see that genuine smile of urs
Could be one of the happiest day in my life =)

Another Saturday

Went to this Writing workshop in CHIJ...
Damn, only me and Archie in our class go [boys, i mean]. da rest were all girls....O_O
Okay. bloggie. It's nt wat u think. Hahahaha...I dont flirt with girls around, okay. xD I only have feelings for one person and u know who tat is.

Then Archie, me , her and Sariha went to eat lunch..
Played some no. games and it was fun. Haha...=P
Then walked her home.

Suddenly she stopped at a bridge over a canal nearby the back of her hostel...
Yeah, we spent some time talking over there...
And I guessed we could have been there longer if not for the sudden rain.
Haha. In the end I borrowed her umbrella to go home, but yeah, before that I walked her further a bit to reach her house.
And damn, the rain was heavy == I got a bit wet..haha...

And back at home,
she was sad again == she isnt meeting him tonight...
Must it be always like this everytime?
All I have done to make her smile, will they all disappear as quickly as thin air?

Oh bloggie...
that was a gd question
U asked: What have you DONE for her?
U're right, what have I done for her, till she has to appreciate it, not to mention frame it in her heart.. =)

And I realise one more thing
What I feel when I spend time with her and what she felt abt that is totally different =)
In fact, it may never be da same, right? =)

Oh,gosh. Can't i do something? ==
haha...why am i feeling unappreciated by her?
Oh kevin, kevin. dont think so much, please. u dun even know wad she is thinking...
Should I ask, bloggie? But tat would be awkward. ASK abt this out of nowhere...
Argh forget it ==

Okay, I think she looked beautiful and I looked....dumb[?] xD

Haven't I got enough?

Thrown upside down, smacked here and there, flew around in every way, slammed hard on the floor...

Thats wad I am feeling right now...

PAIN really knows how to catch me off-guard...
Everytime I expect/experience something good, then it will attack...
Like Wth....

Everytime I experience something sweet [yeah, bloggie, come on..u know wad this is abt..dont ask ==], I feel really shattered...
Entah karena sama bf nya ato coz her feelings for me seems to be vanish in an instant,
I dunno, maybe I am thinking too much again...

And today, I saw them, no tats okay, perfectly okay...
It was just kinda unexpected to me, tats all
But then, why the PAIN, again? ==

It's been like this all along..
well, I guess PAIN's attacks just nv stops right...
And whats disturbing me more is tat the PAIN comes from inside of me...I guess so==

Haven't I got enough of this PAIN? No, I dun think so =)
I'm far from DEFEAT =)

Yep, I'll continue, and this time, more wary for the PAIN than I've ever been...
But still, I dun think I can handle PAIN...yet =)