28 January 2016; 0413

The unplanned phone call that I made,

That I made when I finally mustered up my courage,

The courage that I couldn't bear to gather, knowing that there is a huge chance it will go down South,

Because somehow, deep down, I knew that it was gonna go that way.



Yet I did it anyway.

I poured the feelings that I've always had for a while already.

I might have hinted it from things that I've done before that day,

But that was the first time I made my feelings heard loud and clear.



In the movies, things would probably not go down so complicated.

It'd have been a simple yes-or-no kind of topic.

This time, though, it's lying so deep in the middle of the grey area,

A predicament ever so familiar, and a place I've probably been more times than I can remember.



And so here I go again,

Usually what comes next is the internal struggle of whether to hold on or to let go.

Because I know people don't really change the way they view you as a person,

And yet I'm already sinking too deep to just simply drop everything and move on.



The only difference this time though,

Is that I'm surprisingly able to balance my furnace of emotions,

Deep enough so it won't affect me from outside.

But fiery enough so that the feelings can continue to run, even if it's just for a while longer.