Pressure.

Hey bloggie,

All of a sudden, I kinda figure out a little things that are going on inside.

This pressure. Yes.

This pressure is not compressing me, but it's tearing me apart.

It's like,

I have things to do.

I have responsibilities to fulfil.

I have stuff to take care of.

But at this very, very wrong time,

I discovered that I am again split into different "self".

One self,

Trying hard not to let my family, and myself down.

Trying hard to give it my all for this exam.

So that I have no regrets.

It convinces itself that no matter what, not letting my parents down is the one and only thing that matters right now.

The other self,

Just wanna give everything up.

Just wanna do everything at my own pace.

Just basically, resign to fate.

Convinced that no matter what I do, the path ahead has already been pre-destined for me.

And that as long as I try a little, it would be sufficient.

That third, and last self.

Wonders what the fuck is going on.

Doesn't have its own stand.

Not really sure which other side to follow.

Just wanna go into another place, another time, another space.

Another world.

Either that, or just prefer to stay right here at this damn place.

Why am I facing this kind of bullshit on this very important time?

Tell me, bloggie. FREAKING TELL ME.

I'm pathetic I know.

Please don't let anybody know.

Oh yeah, maybe nobody will know.

It's just between you and me.

Yeah, I hope nobody cares.

Nobody knows.

Nobody says anything.

'Cause it's better for it to stay within me.

Within you.

But if my pathetic self is to ever surface to the outside.

Please take me away, somewhere far away.

I don't wanna look pathetic.

Not in front of other people.

Go away, everybody, buzz off.

I don't need your pity.

Your concerns are no more real than a fake China doll.

Just, leave me alone.

Don't even say anything.

Okay, bloggie? It's just between you and me.

You and me.

I almost forgot how inseparable we are.

It's been like that all along.

Now, now.

Where did my progress to be a cyborg stop?

Why did I stop it anyway?

Who says that I need to stop?

Maybe I should really go back to that kind of road.

What do you think, bloggie? Huh?