Crippled. Disabled.

I'm weak.
I've always been the weaker party, emotionally.



Always the dependent one.
Always the one ending up undergoing self-destruction.



For this time,
Just this time,
I'm trying to be strong.
I'm trying to be the one who's able to keep us together.
I'm trying not to be the one falling apart all the time, every time.
I don't wanna make myself look this miserable, like a burden to you.


But at this rate,
At this point where my schoolwork is like shit,
I'm also breaking apart mentally.
I'm telling you, bloggie. I've never been so hopeless, clueless, helpless academically before.



Now I'm just sailing blindly in a stormy seas.
The ocean has swallowed away my compass, my map.
The dark, luminous clouds are blocking away the sunlight and the moonlight.
The hard pouring rain obstructing my vision.
I'm only letting my life drifting away.
My oar is broken too.
What's the use of oar anyway?
It's not like it can be used to move myself against this massive current.
And even if I can move,
Where can I go to?
Everywhere I see is pitch black.
Not a single glimpse of light around me.

Now I'm tempted to just jump out of this cage to submerge myself under the sea.
But I can't.
I'm trapped.
In this transparent box.
Floating away.
Aimlessly.
Lifelessly.



And all I can do is pray, and scream for myself to hear.

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]