Another handphone note, amidst my sleepless night.

I thought I finally got over you

Since I finally had a crush on someone new.

Well I was totally, totally wrong.


How could I compare this feeling towards you with a simple crush? How could I? :)





Last Wednesday, after the class outing,
Sean asked me to join Nurul and him for an evening movie.
We met at this 'fish' restaurant.
I didn't know what to order, but then Sean followed Nurul to buy the tickets, asking me to order for him.
I was looking through the menu for a while, and texted him for what drink he wanted.
After a while without reply, I decided just to order without him.
Calling the waiter, I waited again. When the waiter came, they came back.
Nurul said sorry, but I didn't care.
And I found out that the movie started in less than 15 mins time. Sean blamed me for not ordering just now.
I said he didn't reply my text.

What he said: oh sorry, just now didn't check my phone.

It's fucking funny how he could reply Nurul in terms of seconds and not even knowing me texting him.
And did they two realise I feel like a freaking extra during the whole time with them?

And I know my crush with Nurul wasn't meant to be.

They got a chance to be together, but again, it won't be me :)




But if I thought that was the biggest problem, no that wasn't..


Guess where did we catch the movie?

Junction8. Bishan..

...
....


All my crush about Nurul, all my feeling about being a bloody extra among them, seemed insignificant.


My memory force-fed my emotion with my excruciating flashback.


It was that day.

Meeting her..
The skygarden..
The excruciating glimpse..
The lost of my mood..
The absolute zero state of my mentality..
The last time I saw her..
But just the start of another painful journey ahead..


I couldn't really feel the emotion of the movie.
I couldn't really enjoy talking to them.
The extra feeling was gone within seconds.
Even as Nurul and Sean were talking happily, all I could think about was Her.


Moreover...
I went home with the same bus as that day.. 56...
I literally writhed in pain from the moment the bus came until it passed by her bustop....



I couldn't remember when was the last time we were in contact.
But my whole day was still revolving around her...




Who cares about Nurul and Sean.
You're still my only one.
Even though this is only one-sided statement,
Even though I know you won't feel the same way about me,
I can't help it. I just can't lie.




I haven't got over you.