Fucked up.

Okay. This is seriously FUCKED UP!!!!!!!

What's with my sudden emotional reflux again?!?!?!?!?!??!

Suddenly miss everything. YES EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED IN 2008 AND 2009.

EVEN THE HEARTBREAKS.

FUCK!

This seriously gives me a chaotic feeling inside of me.

My study plan, RUINED! RUINED!!!!!!

WHAT THE HELL MAN.

Enough with this nostalgic feeling in me.

And I need to get over Stone fast.

I miss her again.

I can only distract myself a while.

In the end I'll still think about her.

I seriously miss the time when we texted nearly 24/7.

And I can't help but feeling hurt about her sudden change of attitude towards me.

I know I'm pathetic.

But I just can't fucking help it.

I fell too deep.

Again.

I knew this was imminent.

I knew this was what's gonna happen.

From the way you talked last night,

I could feel hesitation.

And from the way you hesitated,

I could feel another end was coming.

And I woke up, greeted by a text.

It wasn't a good morning text though, like how you usually gave.

It was one explaining about how you hesitated,

How you prioritised your studies over everything else,

How you unable to put yourself in commitment,

And how you think I should know.

Thanks for that.

I wasn't surprised though.

The pain was there even before I fell asleep.

When I woke up, yes, I admit it was amplified, but at least I didn't have any shock to defend from.

I can only silently turn back, and walk away too, as she did the same.

What can I say?

It's another end for me.

Crap.

I think I'm falling in too deeply already.

Despite my effort to keep it at bare minimum.

I guess my feeling broke through my barrier yet again.

It hasn't exploded yet though.

There's still time to recover.

But if it continues, it'll be worse. That I can already foresee.

Ah shit shit.

How could a small action from you affect me this much?

Okay, for the subsequent times,

I shall say it out, loud and clear,

I DON'T LIKE YOU.

WE'R JUST FRIENDS.

THIS FEELING IS NOT REAL.

IT'S A FUCKING CRUSH, FOR GOODNESS SAKE.

Fuck.


I got my second head injury in my life ==



During captain's ball game today,
We were playing against OAC team. Yes, PA team vs OAC team.
As I was defending and blocking the ball from one guy on my right,
Suddenly I felt a knock on my head, and the next thing I knew, I was writhing in pain on the ground.
Fuck that asshole, seriously.
I don't wanna create trouble only.
And I can't prove that he hit me, although there were witnesses.



He guiltlessly said he didn't touch me.
The fact is that he knocked down a player once in each team they played against.
What a loser.



I couldn't stand up for few seconds, my head was giddy.
Blood keep flowing out, though the cut was small.
And thank God, it didn't hit my eye.
It was close.
I'll make him if he hit my eye. I swear.



her birthday is tomorrow.

And i don't know what to do.

Not when my head is throbbing with pain, and my heart is troubled with chaotic emotions.

Don't wanna fall again.

Is this just another crush,

Or is this gonna be real?



All I know is, I don't wanna sink too deep again.



Probably I should consider admiring in secret again.